I volunteered to make a baby for our preacher and his wife who lost their baby almost 3 years ago. She has had a really hard time dealing with this and has been depressed. I offered to make a baby if this would help a long time ago. She has decided she is ready now and she had a yard sale a couple of weeks ago to sell some of the stuff. She brought me pictures and is talking about wanting a a baby when she was still well, before she got sick. Now I asked about size and such. I asked about the name and she thinks maybe she wants the doll to have Hannah’s name and birthday. She asked my opinion and i was at a loss as to how to answer her. She thinks she is ready but not sure her husband is. I told her to talk to him. Is there any thing else I should have said? Has anyone else had this to happen? I hate not having the answers to something so important.
I think you handled it just fine…you are very tender-hearted and it shows. Bless you for doing this; it’s an awesome undertaking and I’m not sure I’d be able to handle it.
Hugs,
Karen
Ty ladies. I have had a rough week already and it helps knowing you care and think I did the right thing. I just do not know sometimes.
Deb, I agree with Karen; you did just fine. and it was perceptive of you to think about involving her husband in this memory-changing event. I also liked your sensitivity in describing her illness. You are a good friend to many.
I think you did exactly what you needed to do. Let them both decide and get back to you. It is very sweet of you to offer to that for them.
Thank you all for the positive feed back. It is just so hard to answer things like that. I have been having a rough time lately and I have leaned on everyone here and other friends a lot. It sure helps to know when I have had all I can take and my tears flow that you all care.
I started reborning as a way to cope with the loss of my infant daughter, who died last summer… I initially wanted to make a memorial doll of my daughter. I thought I was going to go off the deep end and be committed, BUT once I had the doll in my hands, everything was ok. I had a HUGE release of emotions and actually started to heal because of it. It’s weird, but it makes her seem like more than a memory. Who cares what the husband thinks, it she wants the doll make it; boys don’t like dolls anyways. As long as you don’t think she’s going to carry it around in a baby bjorn or try to breast feed it… everything will be fine.
— Begin quote from “Iansmommie”
I started reborning as a way to cope with the loss of my infant daughter, who died last summer… I initially wanted to make a memorial doll of my daughter. I thought I was going to go off the deep end and be committed, BUT once I had the doll in my hands, everything was ok. I had a HUGE release of emotions and actually started to heal because of it. It’s weird, but it makes her seem like more than a memory. Who cares what the husband thinks, it she wants the doll make it; boys don’t like dolls anyways. As long as you don’t think she’s going to carry it around in a baby bjorn or try to breast feed it… everything will be fine.
— End quote
You know I have lost several but was never able to hold or see them. My first ones were I had a bad car wreck when I was 20 and pregnant with triplets. Long story short 2 of the 3 died. One was a fraternal twin and the other was an identical twin to my surviving son. He absorbed his twin and when the other one was born it had been left in my womb for over 4 months not alive. I was a mass of infection and had toxemia. The body had deterioration to the point only a professional would recognize it as a fetus I was told. Anyway the others were never able to carry thru my first trimester. I had not grieved until I started painting Rosebud. She touched a nerve. I only bought her to have to fit clothes for when I sew. I feel so much better, I was not aware even it was bottled up inside me. So I understand how one helps the grief process. She wants a Crystal tho and I am worried since she is a sleeper. I talked to her, she has her mind set on that one tho.
I hope it helps. She is finally on the road to recovery now. she is getting off her depression meds and had a yard sale and she is going out in the world more now. She is even answering the phones at his office where he works thru the week. I donot want to set her back.