For a shy kid who went to nursing school, it sure was a rude awakening. ![]()
Most people dont believe me. I mean I get it. She is remarkably charming. My school called CPS on her twice because I told the janitor what was happening at home.
They called and warned her. She took me out to lunch and to the store to buy whatever I wanted. She kept hugging me and even did my hair for me. I was about 11. I wanted,her to be that person so much that when CPS came and questioned me I lied and made excuses for the things I had told the jaintor. They closed the case. I wanted her to be a nice person so badly that it never even dawned,on me that she was manipulating me.
I question my sanity and my own memory a lot. Lol
Oh I bet! I was shocked about a whole lot of things, but that would be a post by itself. Let’s just say that my visions of wearing cute scrubs and carrying around little medicine cups didn’t come to fruition. ![]()
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I can’t say I was shocked about much on psych units, but it was shocking that in prison sometimes there would be a man so charming that they’d warn staff and would be careful about who worked with him.
The business world was more shocking because I didn’t expect it. The more successful the people, the more likely you are to see it. They do not mind stepping on anyone to achieve their goal of riches, and you’d never know it by looking at their smiling faces.
Memory problems for someone like you are quite common. Not that my opinion matters, but I believe every word you said and believe you to be perfectly sane.
Your example is so sad. Of course this poor little girl wanted her mother to be nice all the time and would do whatever it took to help that process along.
The level of manipulation with certain types of people is almost unfathomable.
Im big on writing things down. Putting notes in my phone and double checking everything with my husband. Im also in therapy for complex ptsd and generalized anxiety.
Things are better but I still cant fathom how people live being so manipulative. The guilt would eat me alive.
I think that’s what happens when we get gaslighted a lot.
My dad had narcissistic tendencies and could be so nice, even manipulative, so that we would trust him and like him.
It doesn’t help when you have someone telling you that your own bad memories never happened that way and you know full well it did!
Oh yeah. The “i dont remember that.” Of course not. For me it was a pivotal moment. For you it was a Tuesday.
I don’t want to give out my personal info but looking on Reborns the other day I see a lot of check marks. I don’t want to lose sales because a buyer thinks that check mark means something. So depressing, I will try and hold out as long as possible.
If it were not for the SS# it would be fine but considering I have already had someone try to get 2 loans in my name using my SS# and another address, I will not do it. I had to put a freeze on all my credit reports. When Wells Fargo gave me the contact phone number for the agency to call for more information about who was doing this, they would not even give me any of the information about who was doing this to me because it got stopped and was unsuccessful. What the heck? You mean someone has to actually go through with the whole thing and get the loan and ruin you even further before the agencies that are supposed to protect us will even give out the information you need to protect yourself from them? What bull! So therefore, though I like Dave quite fine and have been on reborns a long time, I will NOT be giving him my personal SS#. I do not truly know him one bit or have any reason to trust him with that information. That is just not acceptable!
There seems to be patterns over there as far as sales go, but it doesn’t seem to be related to that checkmark as far as I can tell.
You are established with really beautiful dolls. None of my friends in this category have bothered with the checkmark and are doing just fine. My sales haven’t been impacted either.
Buyers message to ask all kinds of questions so I’m thinking if there was a concern about the checkmark they would probably ask.
You are right, and this has psychological manipulation tactics behind it. I believe he knows he doesn’t have to mandate it because the “problem” will take care of itself. How? Once those who hold out, who know it’s not a wise decision to give out all that personal info (especially because his server could be hacked and that info stolen), they will see that most users have taken blue check mark and are selling and they are not, and the pressure and temptation will become much stronger toward just giving in and getting the mark, so that they can become “trusted” and sell too. So, eventually, most will get the mark and those who really do not ever want to do it will probably leave. So, the problem, in a sense, fixes itself/weeds itself out. So, he will probably not have to mandate it. The strong-holders will weed themselves out of his site. I will never give him my info. I have not sold on there in over a year.
Ok, I wrote Dave an email and expressed my concerns with this because I am just now getting back on the site as a paid member and trying to catch up with all this. This is his response with explanation.
Hi Angie,
It was wonderful meeting you at the show! What a fantastic event it was. I had such a great time, and it was a pleasure finally getting to meet you in person.
I’m also glad to hear you’re back on Reborns and getting familiar with the new features. I know quite a bit has changed over the past year, so I appreciate you taking the time to learn the new listing system.
I’m so sorry to hear about the attempted identity theft. How stressful. I too put freezes on all the credit agencies to help prevent that. So I completely understand why you’d be extra cautious about sharing any personal information after going through something like that.
I appreciate you taking the time to share your concerns with me. Feedback like that helps me understand how members are feeling, and it tells me I need to do a better job explaining how the verification process works.
First, Reborns never asks for your full Social Security number. Only the last four digits are used as part of the identity verification process.
Second, I never see those four digits myself. They are submitted directly to Stripe’s secure identity verification system, which performs the verification for Reborns. Stripe simply lets me know whether the verification was successful. At no point am I shown your Social Security information.
Stripe is one of the largest and most trusted payment technology companies in the world. They process payments and identity verification for millions of businesses and handle enormous volumes of sensitive financial information every day. They have security standards that are on par with major payment companies and financial institutions. Because of that, I feel very confident that your information is being handled safely.
Reading your email makes me realize that I haven’t explained this well enough on the website. If someone doesn’t understand exactly how the information is being used and protected, it’s completely understandable that they would feel uncomfortable. I’ll work on making that much clearer.
I also want to reassure you that I have no plans to make the Reborns verification program mandatory. It is completely optional. If you aren’t comfortable participating, that is absolutely your choice, and I respect that.
Thank you again for sharing your thoughts with me so openly. I value having long-time artists like you on Reborns, and I’m grateful you’ve continued to support the site over the years.
It was wonderful seeing you at the show, and I hope our paths cross again at the next one! I will be at the WCDS in March 2027!
hugs,
Dave
BUT if there is any kind of dispute Dave will hand all that information over to police, lawyers, buyers, payment platforms and whoever else! All without your permission.
I am still not doing it but at least it isn’t giving out the whole SS#. A little better… He did come back and say if you have a history of good feedback it probably isn’t necessary to do. For sure!
Yep…the whole blue check thing is a no go for me too……if it ever becomes mandatory…..I’ll leave.
I have about convinced myself that maybe a Facebook account might not be a bad thing….especially after @DollyPardon just sold 2 babies in about 2 1/2 minutes![]()
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Three now. ![]()
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Get one @cherielynn09. Your dolls are gorgeous and you will end up with a ton of followers. It’s a good way to take control of things and hedge against being jerked around.
Gosh……you had a GREAT day!!!
Now you gotta get busy painting again!!’
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Now I’m responding to messages from people who missed out and are asking about customs. ![]()
That’s the other good thing about social media. One sold doll can lead to all sorts of other activity.
I thought the same thing, I need a Facebook lol that must be what I’m doing wrong ![]()