im much more a reborn doll collector than an artist-i do paint dolls for myself, but i started collecting first after a loss, and I fell in love with this hobby.
I know that my dolls have helped my mental health. when i hold a doll i remember my happiest memories of holding my newborn sons. I feel calm. i feel at peace. the brain chemistry of oxytocin and serotonin and the other chemicals that are released (i dont know them all right now, but the “feel good” chemicals-) when we feel content or at ease are definitely released for me. I dont pretend my dolls are real, i dont even “roll play”, for me just holding a doll is enough to bring those nice feelings of calm to me. honestly, just going in my room and looking at my favorite dolls is enough, or rearranging one on their blanket/display is enough for me to feel this nice peaceful feeling. I know people can find that feeling in many other ways- when i’m in nature, or gardening, the way my dogs or cats enjoy a good pat, or a nice cup of tea can also bring these feelings.
but i think this hobby of reborns is, for me, one of the surprise gifts i have found as an adult that brings me so much simple happiness. and im thankful that i discovered it and that there is a whole community of artists and collectors that also find this art benefits their lives.
Sometimes precautionary measures aren’t fail proof and other times biological clocks tick when you least expect it. All is good, I like my own kids, most of the time, but love them all of the time
I am not child free but my daughter is by choice. As sad as it makes me I also respect and honor her decision. Parenting isn’t something she was ever interested in. She loves family, loves her siblings, and is someone you can count on if you are sick or hurt, she is nurturing she just never had that pull to be pregnant or commit herself to parenting.
She has known since she was 16.
She tells me she is too selfish but I know she isn’t…
She lost her sister who was her best friend when she was 19, I know that played a roll.
Not all women can or want. It’s a lifetime commitment, it is all consuming, it is expensive, hard to do without a very helpful loving partner and/or really good support group.
I think you made a good choice for yourself, I commend you for putting your energy into your wellness. Kids are amazing but you can find all that joy in so many other ways.
I’ve already had one surgery to diagnose and remove the endometrial tissue. But unfortunately, the only way to take care of at least the symptoms would be a total hysterectomy and early menopause
My daughter had it really bad. They blew her tube out and the next month she was pregant then 10 and a half month after that baby she had another. They say if you can get pregant stay pregant. She finally had a complete hysterectomy and got better. It did damage to her bladder. They tried leaving a piece of ovary but that caused it to grow still. When she got that out it stopped.
Wanted them, lots of them, but was told by doctors at 14, that I couldnt have any. No testing or anything was offered. Just said I couldn’t because of irregular periods. He said I most probably have yada yada condition and if I didn’t, then it was some other yada yada condition.
For decades under public health care, you needed to be actively trying or married before they would even take so much as a blood test for fertility issues. I didn’t have the money for private health.
Fast forward 20 years and after begging a doctor to help me, I got some testing done and there was absolutely NOTHING wrong with me!
All that time wasted, depression, countless years researching cures for whatever supposed thing I thought might be the issue. Talk about messed up🙄
Spent 3 years after that, getting my life in order, before my clock run out, only for my partner of 12 years to stand up one day and say he “wants to find someone younger, prettier”, then walk out my front door and never return.
I had to start all over again and didnt have the time to.
1 year after my relationshop ended, I get diagnosed with an autoimmine disease that makes baby growing not viable and put me through early menopause at age 34.
So, no children.
It is what it is.
BUT there IS a somewhat happy ending. I do get to make babies, just a different kind.
I love kids and babies, I love my niece and nephews to the ends of the earth, but I don’t believe having kids is in the cards for me anymore. My husband and I did try for a few years after we got married and had a few losses. We were both raised Roman Catholic and those losses really messed us up mentally.
I also have mental health issues on top of struggling with an eating disorder. I’ve been to treatment centers, mental health hospitals, and see a therapist 2x a month. I’m currently the most stable I have ever been at 31 and I can’t risk messing that up.
My best friend from highschool jokes that I am her village because I’m always there to help wrangle children whenever she needs me <3 I am “Aunty Cole (Nicole)” to many kids and enjoy that I can drop everything to run off on an adventure with them.
I think making dolls gives me the baby fix I need and ‘being the village’ helps me feel like I’m still providing some childcare where it is needed and appreciated. Kids probably aren’t going to happen for us and we’re okay with that.
