I would love to say it was a lovely year, I sold a million babies, my pockets are full, my life is one big happy Facebook post, but…
I can say, it wasn’t terrible, I made as many babies as I could while homeschooling (which were not very many), very frustrating.
I sold the babies I made so I am grateful.
There were some happy memories made with my boys in Hawaii, I consider Hawaii “home” I lived there as a child, I Have family (in laws) there, I try to go every year but the last two trips got cancelled because of COVID. This year we stayed isolated, rented a quiet place, stayed on local beaches, cooked our own food, kept to ourselves but it was what my heart needed. It was my favorite part of the year. (and we tested negative before we left and negative when we returned home, thank you vaccines, n-95 masks, and good hand washing).
The last of the ship before Christmas babies are done, I get to rest a little, do the holiday thing and in January start all over.
I made a lot of yummy dishes, I had a nice garden, I didn’t lose the covid 20 but I didn’t borrow 20 more.
We got a living tree this year to decorate and we will plant it in January up on a hill we like to hike and watch the sunset, I hope it lives long, grows big and is home to critters.
My daughter is dating a nice guy I get to meet Christmas Eve.
Now I have to manifest 2022.
Here is my list, I want to hear yours, and your 2021 challenges or highlights.
I want to make a series of 20 fabulous babies. I have been planning them and gathering supplies and stuff for them. I want them to be fun and interesting.
I want to start running again, I took a break and honestly I can’t say why, and my brain and body miss it. 5K this year, in the spring.
I want to save some money this year. Last year I did my best to pay down any and all debt we had. I have my car to pay of this year, and my Christmas shopping (sigh) but after that I want to start a little savings just for me, not much, my gran would call in Pin money. I want to feel that tiny bit of safety net under me.
I want to paint on canvas more. I love it, it makes me happy. I need to get back to it. I have been painting vinyl for the last couple years more and more and I have forgotten about how good it feels to show up to a big blank canvas.
I want to try and be a better mom. I have been a stressed out hot mess the last couple years and I have not shown up the way I want or need to. This is my last little, he has been stuck in the house with me during all this and he is lonely, bored, and sometimes a little uncertain about what all this is about. I have not been focussed on his point of view, I have not been fun, or silly, or a stand-in friend, I am going to try harder, do better. (Lord I hate homeschool).
I am going to lose the 20 I gained, not sure how but damn I am gonna try. My next door neighbor is my age and had a heart attack. He is fine now, had to get the cardiac rotor-rooter, he will have to drop 60 pounds, eat better, move more, take meds and work less stressful hours. He is a strong guy, always on the go, physical job, happy dude. He felt jaw pain, ignored it, thought he was clenching his teeth because it is cold out. Then he drove a couple hours away to go deep sea fishing and felt the jaw pain and a tightness in his chest, not a terrible pain just uncomfortable. Drove home and thought, “wonder if I am having a heart attack” He had a physical scheduled a couple days later for insurance and they sent him to the emergency room by ambulance, he was actively having a heart attack. He was rushed to surgery. He called his wife on his way in to let her know.
I don’t want that to be me.
I want to give up processed sugar. I have tried so many times but damn it this year is my year.
I want to be a better friend and add some new women to my tribe. I need people, I need good people, healthy, smart, funny and interesting. Covid is friggin lonely.
I am sure that list will grow but that is where I am.
What kinds of things are you looking forward to next year, what hurdles do you want to leap over, what challenges do you want to smash? What healing do you want to do, and how can you be just a little kinder to yourself in 2022?