My apologies ahead of time for the extremely lengthy post, I’d just really like to get some feedback from other members on this “hot button” topic. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE…I ‘don’t want this to turn into any sort of witch hunt, as it’s not aimed at anyone or any particular incident. I’m only posting asking for opinions and insight because I NEED IT. It’s like that old saying of not seeing the forest for the trees, and sometimes finding it hard to look at a “whole picture” before becoming reactionary.
The dolly world is a close knit place and I plan on being her for a loooong time :), I’ve joined several boards and groups, making great friends and now I’m finding myself jumping into to sells, trades, swaps and all sorts of other fun stuff. In doing so, even in my short time, I’ve noticed around the forums, boards and social media sites where we dolly folks come together and ever increasing rate of “Deals Gone Bad.” I come from a school of thought that a person’s word is their bond, meaning if you say you’re going to do something, then it’s expected that you will based on your word. There will always be the potential for hiccups in life that may temporarily derail a plan, but when that happens it’s also expected as adults that we should “man up” and inform the other party with whom we’re doing business with that something has occurred and there may be delays. I think it’s unfair and unreasonable for one of the parties to be left in a lurch or forced to have to constantly email, message, track down, etc the other party to get them to uphold their end of the bargain/business. This sort of behavior not only sours feelings in the present deal, but makes one seriously leery about embarking on any future sales, swaps, trades, etc with other people even when they’re people you’re familiar with on forums/groups you frequent.
I consider myself to be a pretty laid back and patient person, until I feel that I’m being taken advantage of (there are probably lots of us here that fall into that category…yes?). So in your opinion what is reasonable? If you enter into a trade/swap/sell with someone and you both agree to have the items packaged and shipped by a certain day and the tracking numbers given on that day and you uphold your end, but the other person doesn’t. Do you give them a day …two days…or more, before contacting them to see what’s going on……by this time the package you’ve mailed has probably already been delivered. Or when you do ask them, they give you some nonsensical answer that has no bearing on why they could not ship your items or uphold their end of the deal or…they just ignore you all together, but you know they’re present and accounted for because you see their very active presence online. I think we all try to handle our business in an adult manner and try our best to resolve issues in private with just the other parties involved, but at what point does your patience run out and the time comes to publicly call the person out on the carpet and make others aware of their less than honorable business/trading practices?
Well I agree with you! I work full time- and have a family- fit in exercise and everything else- and GET TO THE POST OFFICE ASAP. But I think sometimes busy people are more efficient. IMO. I always try to get to people right away and mail right away and tell people if I have to work when I can mail things. I think the key is good communication - and yes it is rude to not answer back.
As far as selling, I don’t ship the doll until payment has cleared my bank and I only accept PayPal. Things STILL can go wrong, though, if a buyer files a claim and PayPal gives them 6 months to do so.
Trades and swaps ~ I have only participated in 2 swaps, both of them here on this forum. One was about 5 yrs. ago when I received a filthy doll that was actually filled with dirt. I swore off swaps till just recently when I participated in the Easter Swap and received the most beautiful, precious baby from @lisalampe and now, just thinking of her, I am forced to share just one more picture of her
Just a little bit of sheer PERFECTION, don’t bother to thank me, you’re most welcome
Seriously, though ~ you just have to be oh, soooooo careful out there in the world today, try to scope out as best you can who it is you’re dealing with. As for calling someone out in public, I know FB has scammer forums for that sort of thing. I basically trust no one any more that I haven’t done business with in the past. Sad, I know, but we can’t be too careful. Once burned, twice shy.
I have seen many transactions go bad so I only do transactions with members that have been around awhile and I can get a feel for them. I would never consider making a transaction with a new member because that is a huge red flag in my book.
As for when do you start insisting on shipping info…it depends. If there’s been no communication (or slow), I give less time. If I know the person has some things going on, I’d be more lenient. In the end, listen to your gut; if you feel something is wrong, then it probably is.
No I don’t think it’s sad at all. It’s people’s behavior that force us to start feeling that way. As far as the scammers page goes…I don’t trust it either. I’ve read posts on there where a person was dead to right in the wrong in the way they conducted a transaction, yet the person posting them as a scammer got jumped on by the rest of the group for outing the person. Just last week I was blocked, banned and labeled a reborn doll troll for replying to a post in a group. A lady posted about a conversation she had with a potential customer and asked a question to the group and just because I disagreed with her methods I was attacked by her online groupies, seriously they were like a keyboard lynch mob lol.
I have been on here for a year and a half. I have gotten to know some of the members just by reading the posts. I also feel I can trust certain members. If one of those members didn’t come through on a deal I would be shocked and very hurt or I would think something must have happened to them. Other members, it could be a crap shoot.
I rarely do business with anyone that I do not know well on any forum. I have been fortunate that everyone that I have done dealings with were honest and professional. I also believe that your word and integrity should mean something.
I don’t even know what to say. I am new, but thank goodness someone trusted me to sell to me. I believe in standing up for yourself but, there comes a time when you have to be the bigger person and let it go. That comes with age and wisdom. People will always pounce on you, always when they can, it is a shame that others follow unnecessarily - mob violence. That one person throws the stone and the others follow not realizing they are following the wrong person and end up hurting themselves. Misery loves company, that’s what my Mom used to say. Besides there is always that one person that just loves stirring up things and creating chaos dividing up a nice group so that they can fee empowered. And people let them. Don’t let someone stop you from being yourself.
@DancesWithDolls it is ok to have your own opinion. @DDDolly don’t let a couple of people make you leave, your wisdom in invaluable here. We need you, ok I need you, you have helped me so much with your answers. I am so sorry that has happened to you both.
I put my opinion on here a lot, if I am too much please let me know. I can take it!!!
Oh no! I’m sorry that some people have taken advantage of your kindness. It’s people like that who ruin it for the rest of us. I hope you don’t leave because I really enjoy talking to you! You are always keen to help when I’m stuck in a rut. Just know that you do have people here who care for you
I am sorry, but I can’t get past that someone got a doll filled with dirt!!! That is disgusting. After reading that, everything else I read was a blur. What a horrible thing to do to a new Mummy and her much awaited baby.
Not fullfilling your end of the deal when someone has been kind giving to you? Whomever these people are, should be ashamed of themselves. Have some grace and play nice.
If the two people have received merchandise that they have not paid for then I see that as a huge breach of responsibility! If they said they would love to buy something that you had to order for them and you did not choose to have them pay before you ordered, then I guess the mistake might have been on your end. We can all learn from mistakes made by others. Not sure why you feel the need to leave the forum though?
I was just going to suggest that! I saw where you were going to order a darling white dress on one of your other posts, but since @InfantInspirations was the only one that showed any interest, you decided it was too expensive with postage cost. That one was darling! What do,you have that you need to sell since the pre-order ladies haven’t stepped up?
I’m so sorry to hear that. I guess we can never be too careful.
(((HUGS)))
