I tend to style with a soft toothbrush. I run the toothbrush under water to dampen it, brush/style and let air dry..
I may use conditioner: spray the brush with a mix of 1/3 fabric softener and 2/3 water and brush areas that seem dry or frizzy.
I personally WOULD wash a reborn's hair- but rarely-- maybe once a year with gentle shampoo and conditioner... But then I like to touch and stroke the hair so it will get my skin oils and any dirt that is on my hands eventually... Also I let my (just turned seven) daughter cuddle them... So never ever is too long to not wash... But "very rarely and very gently" is appropriate